#Bring back the other girls

 Interestingly, there are people who think the publicised May 17  rescue of one of the over 200 Chibok schoolgirls abducted by Boko Haram terrorists may well be a stunt to credit the President Muhammadu Buhari administration with an important achievement ahead of its first anniversary on May 29. These doubters provide a significant sign of the government’s public rating close to a year after the wind of change that blew the Goodluck Jonathan administration out of power.

This thinking that the Buhari government may have stage-managed the report of teenager Amina Ali’s return amounts to not only a discredit to the government’s credibility, but also a dishonour to Buhari’s advertised integrity. It is food for thought that things have come to such a pass, considering the high public optimism that greeted Buhari’s ascendancy.

It is clarifying that news of Amina’s rescue was corroborated by Chibok Girls Parents Association Chairman Yakubu Nkeki, and the spokesperson of the #BringBackOurGirls (#BBOG) advocacy group, Sesugh Akume.

It is enlightening that Presidential Villa watcher Olalekan Adetayo in a report captured what he called “A presidential treatment for a rescued captive”: “A presidential jet was sent to Borno State to bring her. She came with her mother, her brother and her baby. She arrived the Villa in a convoy of vehicles under tight security. She was driven straight to the forecourt of the President’s office through the Service Chiefs’ Gate. Only privileged few persons are driven through the gate that is reserved for the high and mighty.”

Adetayo also reported: “Amina… was accompanied by the Borno State Governor, Alhaji Kashim Shettima; the Minister of Defence, Mansur Dan Ali; the National Security Adviser, Babangana Monguno; and the Chief of Defence Staff, Gabriel Olonishakin, among other top government officials.”

Buhari perhaps needed the photo opportunity more than Amina. Pictures of the President carrying Safiya, Amina’s baby girl, helped to project a powerful message about state capacity. It is noteworthy that the latest official information indicated that the military had recaptured 20 villages from the Islamist terrorists in 22 days under Operation Crackdown, and had rescued 150 civilians, including Amina.

 

Although Buhari spoke with reassuring optimism on the possibility of bringing back the schoolgirls abducted in Chibok, Borno State, over two years ago, there is no question that it will take more than positive thinking and expression of hope to get the girls back. “Amina’s rescue gives us new hope and offers a unique opportunity to vital information,” Buhari said.  Borno State Governor Shettima sang the same tune, saying, “… 218 girls are not accounted for, but a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, the recovery of Amina Ali, is a sign of greater things to come…”

Apart from Amina’s case, the question concerning the fate of the victims of the outrageous kidnap of April 14, 2014, remains tragically unanswered. Out of the 276 seized students of the Girls Senior Secondary School, Chibok, 57 managed to escape. It is a cause for concern that only Amina has been rescued out of the remaining 219 girls, despite an international campaign that resonated across the world, involving United States First Lady Michelle Obama and Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai.

Lamentably, the strident demand for action, particularly political action by the political authorities, which was formulated as #BringBackOurGirls, has not yielded any significant progress in locating and returning the girls. This amounts to governmental failure.

Indeed, the unresolved kidnappings call for political will and fresh creative approaches.  As things stand, there is a seeming paralysis that hinders the desired action to get the girls back. In this matter, the government of the day must demonstrate that it is conscious of its institutional and moral responsibilities.

Notwithstanding initial footdragging by the Jonathan administration that was in power when the terrorists struck in Chibok, and the associated complications, President Buhari must rise to the challenge.

It is heart-warming that Buhari said: “Although we cannot do anything to reverse the horrors of her past, the Federal Government can and will do everything possible to ensure that the rest of her life takes a completely different course. Amina will get the best care that the Nigerian government can afford. We will ensure that she gets the best medical, emotional and whatever care that she requires to get full recovery and be integrated into the society.” This is a promise that must be kept.

Importantly, the occasion also yielded what may be considered as a policy position on girl-child education. It was positive that Buhari made a fundamental assertion: “The continuation of Amina’s education so abruptly disrupted will definitely be a priority of the Federal Government. Amina must be able to go back to school. Nobody in Nigeria should be put through the brutality of forced marriage. Every girl has a right to education and their choice of life.” Buhari should take a further step on this issue by officially intensifying the promotion of girl-child education and discouraging forced marriage across the country.

 

This is where Mohammed Hayatu comes in. He is the suspected Boko Haram terrorist who was found with Amina and who claimed to be her husband. Lagos activist lawyer Femi Falana (SAN) was helpful in defining Hayatu’s status. Falana argued: “The captured terrorist who was arrested with Amina is not her husband but an abductor and a rapist. The media should therefore desist from further referring to the criminal suspect as the husband of the girl…The Attorney-General of Borno State should proceed to charge the terrorist with abduction and slavery, torture and rape without any further delay.”

 

It is a thought-provoking irony that Baby Safiya bears a name that is contradicted by the circumstances of her birth. Safiya is a Muslim name meaning “pure”. The terrorism that resulted in Amina’s abduction and her subsequent violation by an alleged member of a violent group was not a reflection of purity. It is equally important to protect this baby from possible stigma, and help her to rise above the unfortunate context of her birth.

The celebration of Amina’s rescue and return is not inappropriate. But the other Chibok girls still missing deserve to be brought back too.

Five-year jail term for lecturers who sexually molest students if…

Lecturers that engage in sexual relationship with students would henceforth bag a five-year jail term if a bill in the Senate, seeking to completely prohibit any form of sexual relationship between them and their students is passed and assented to by President Muhammadu Buhari. The bill on Wednesday, passed for first reading in the Senate.

The bill, sponsored by Sen. Ovie Omo-Agege (Labour-Delta Central) and co-sponsored by 46 other senators, seeks to completely prohibit any form of sexual relationship between lecturers and their students, the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports. Briefing journalists after plenary, Omo-Agege said the nation’s institutions of higher learning must be sanitised to rid them of lecturers who saw female students as “prize’.” According to him, when the bill is passed and signed into law, any lecturer found guilty will be liable to a jail term of up to five years but not less than two years with no option of fine.

“When passed into law, it makes it a criminal offence for any educator in a university, polytechnic or any other tertiary educational institution to violate or exploit the student-lecturer fiduciary relationship for sexual pleasures. “The bill imposes stiff penalties on offenders in its overall objective of providing tighter statutory protection for students against sexual hostility and all forms of sexual harassment in tertiary schools. “The bill provides a compulsory five-year jail term for lecturers who sexually harass students.

“When passed into law, vice chancellors of universities, rectors of polytechnics and other chief executives of institutions of higher learning will go to jail for two years if they fail to act within a week on complaints of sexual harassment made by students. “The bill expressly allows sexually harassed students, their parents or guardians to seek civil remedies in damages against sexual predator lecturers before or after their successful criminal prosecution by the state,” Omo- Agege said.

Lol..!! Police detain men for eating late, demand N15,000 bribe

 The Surulere Police Division, Lagos State, on Tuesday arrested four men, who were accused of eating late in the night around the Ojuelegba Bridge in the Surulere area.
Our correspondent learnt that the suspects – one of them identified as Sango Svengali – were eating noodles at a shop on Ogunlana Drive around 11pm, when the policemen, said to be about eight, rounded them up.

The policemen, who reportedly brought three vans, were said to have accused the men of eating late and queried why they did not eat in their houses.
It was learnt that the suspects were subsequently whisked away to the Area C Command, Surulere.

It was learnt that the policemen at the counter allegedly demanded N15,000 ‘settlement’ from the men, threatening that they would sleep in the cell overnight if they failed to settle.
Our correspondent gathered that Svengali and his friends, who were not made to write any statement, offered N5,000 but the policemen refused.

Our correspondent learnt that on Wednesday, the suspects were brought before the area commander, who noted that they resembled Boko Haram members, ordering them to shave their beards.
Speaking with PUNCH Metro on Thursday after regaining his freedom, Svengali said the policemen did not ask any of them for identification before forcing them into their vans.
He said, “I had a stressful day at work on Tuesday. There was a lot of traffic. Instead of going home through the Third Mainland Bridge, I decided to spend the night at a friend’s place in Ojuelegba. Some other friends came to my friend’s place. Later, around 11pm, we were hungry and we decided to go down the road to buy noodles.

“The Mai shai are basically night-food people. So we knew they would still be selling food. We drove to Ogunlana Drive and saw a woman selling noodles by the roadside. The three of us decided to buy noodles and eat. We sat on the trunk of the two cars we brought and ate the food. As we were about to go, three police vans stopped by our vehicles. There were about eight policemen in the vans.
“The policemen dragged me into one of their vans. I was confused and wanted to resist. But when I saw the young man selling recharge cards beside the woman being slapped several times, I knew it was useless resisting. The policemen did not ask us any question. They did not ask us to identify ourselves.”

Svengali added that when they got to the station, they met eight others who had been arrested.
He said, “While in the van, the policemen sitting beside me collected my phone and started searching through it. He checked through my electronic mail, and when he did not find anything, he said, ‘Sometimes you go dey pray say you no dey road when devil dey pass.’ He added that we would ‘sort it out’ at the station.

“As we moved on, I noticed that my other friends – except one – were in the other vans. When we got to the station, we found that eight people had been picked up too. The policemen at the station said, ‘Why una no chop for house?’ One of my friends started negotiating for us at the counter. The policemen said they wanted N15,000 to let three of us go. He was begging them to take N5,000. They refused.

“The cell stank like a gutter. There were about 18 of us  there. We endured the stench till morning. When it was around 7am, we were brought before the area commander. We were lined up like criminals. He said our misdeed was that we ate at an unholy hour. He said we looked like fanatics and Boko Haram members.

“He ordered them to lock us up again. After some time, some of our friends came, one of them is a lawyer. He spoke to the area commander. He said the only way to release us was to shave our beards. The police bought shaving sticks and made us shave at the counter. I was so embarrassed. All this while, we never wrote any statement. We were not accused of anything. When I finally left, it was some minutes before 10am.”

Our correspondent learnt that one of the suspects communicated with the Complaints Response Unit, Abuja, through Twitter, to report the alleged bribe the policemen demanded.
 The Lagos State Police Public Relations Officer, SP Dolapo Badmos, had yet to reply to a text message sent to her phone on the incident.

The Head of the CRU, Force Headquarters, Abuja, CSP Abayomi Shogunle, however, replied on Twitter that a team of policemen had gone to the police station to ascertain the claim of the complainants.

He said, “A special monitoring team from the Force Headquarters on nationwide patrol is at the police station in Ojuelegba to verify this report. The complaint is acknowledged and the tracking number is CRU 359117.”

Moves that will leave him begging for mercy every night!

THE cliche of the frigid wife who doesn’t want sex has been replaced by a new reality—women who are married or in a committed relationship want to be having more sex. So how does a woman in love bring the passion back into her relationship? According to Dr. Phill McGraw, a renowned sociologist: “Figuring out what you can do differently is the most efficient way to get the sex life you want.” He along with some experts then proceed to list some moves that will leave your man begging for mercy tonight and every night hereafter. Here in a nutshells is what they suggested:

 First, do a little thinking:

If you want your sex life improve, start by diagnosing the problem. Examine your life: Are you so busy that it’s impossible for the two of you to be sexually intimate on a regular basis? Have you gotten out of the habit because sex is incompatible with all your other obligations?

Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months, and before you know it you can’t remember the last time you made love. Sex is a pattern, and unless it happens on an ongoing basis, other things will crowd it. Use it or lose it.

Try to trace the pattern back in time and figure out how sex got moved down thepriority list. Was it when you started having kids? One of the biggest mistakesthat couples make is that they stop being friends and lovers because they’vebecome moms and dads. It is a mental shift; all of a sudden, being a romanticpartner is no longer important. It is like we decide, ‘Adolescence is over. I’m amother or a father now, and I have to act like one.’ Add to that the time andenergy required in raising children, and sexually, the cards are stacked againstyou. But being a parent is just one of the roles we play, and neglecting the roleof partner and lover is a huge error.

Now ask yourself:

“What might I be doing —or not doing— to contribute to the situation? And what can I do to change things?’ Back when there was passion in your relationship, were you taking more pride in the way you looked? For better for worse, men are responsive to visual stimulation. You can be oblivious to that fact. You may need to make some small changes in your appearance, like getting rid of old sweat pants, cutting your hair, or losing the weight you’ve been, complaining about for years. None of this is to say that his worn-out sweatshirts protruding gut are a turn-on.

But it goes back to one of life’s law: You create your own experience — so get started. You may want affirmation from him— that you look beautiful, that your haircut is flattering, whatever it may be. There’ s no guarantee you’re going to get it, which is why you have to decide within yourself that you are making the most of who you are and what you have to offer. Give yourself credit for that and find security in it, even if it’s not externally validated. And indeed, your self-image is crucial. Say to yourself, ‘I’m not just a memory, I’m a hot number.’ And then act like it. Talk yourself into it. Instead of waking up thinking about how many dirty diapers you’re going to change that day, tell yourself, “I am going to seduce my husband today. Try spending less time coming up with a plan to avoid traffic on your way to work and more time figuring out how you’re going to inspire your lover. As a starting point, think back to when you and your partner were having sex more often and enjoying it. Remember what worked at that time in your life, and replicate those things. Have a conversation with yourself.

Give yourself permission to get what you want. Claim your right, and give a voice to your needs. Being sexually satisfied and feeling wanted by your partner are legitimate and healthy parts of a relationship

Next, bring him in on it:

Once you’ve thought about what is lacking, wherethe problem lies and what role you play in it, you need to talk to him about it; hecannot read your mind. How do you tell someone you’re not satisfied with thesex life you share? Very carefully. It’s important to come at this straight. Youneed to sit down together and mutually recognise: “our physical intimacy hasn’tbeen there lately. We may have gotten distracted or allowed to many other thingsto absorb all our energy.” You are acknowledging, as a couple, that you’ve gottenout of the habit of focusing on each other romantically and that you want to makesex part of your lives again. Now let’s talk about timing. The time to raise the issue is not during a marital crisis. Your needs may be valid, but he’ll resist you if you include it in a litany of complaints or bring it up in the middle of an argument. Getting defensive or figuring out who’s to blame won’t get you very far either.

If you’d rather argue about whose fault it is and try to convince your husband for falling asleep with the remote in his hand night after night, then I ask you: Do you want to be right, or do you want to get more loving? But what if he doesn’t want to talk about it? There maybe underlying issues that are manifesting in the sexual domain—problems that absolutely have nothing to do with you. It’s so easy to feel hurt or disappointed if he’s not initiating sex, but don’t take it personally. His struggle with intimacy may be as a result of too much stress in the office. When the pressure is on, we tend to strip away what we actually need most: Sleep, comfort, companionships—and sex. Is he depressed? Could medication be diminishing his sex drive? Also, men tend to measure their self-worth as a function of external circumstances. He may feel like less of a man if he doesn’t have a job, for example, or even after something like heart surgery. Take a look at situations that may be affecting him, and how you can help. Would bringing a different passion (sports, a hobby) back into his life lead to a more excitement in the bedroom? The two of you need to talk about what is going on. But if he’s reluctant to be open about it, encourage him to at least look inside. Suggest that he ask himself what might be killing the deal for him. If you can find the source of the problems, you can tailor your intimacy to meet his needs, and yours. And if all else fails, try to convince him that one session of couple counselling is the key to getting your feelings out in the open and starting to make changes.Now share the heavy lifting: Carve out time for lovemaking. Yes, it takes away spontaneity when you have to pencil in sex, but at least you’ll be having it! After you do, you’ll say: “Now I remember why this was so much fun. Now I get why we used to do it all the time.” Then you’ll build the momentum to keep it going more spontaneously. It’s about behaving your way to success, and the first thing you need to do is get back in the saddle. Experts agree that an important element of sexual arousal is fantasy. And yet we so easily get into a pattern where we’re just not fanciful or intriguing sexually. Some people feel shame or fear when it comes to asking for what they want. Speaking candidly with your partner about your desires doesn’t make you perverted or kinky.

Create an environment of acceptance and openness by agreeing in advance that you can say anything. If you have a hard time verbalising your desires, give yourself permission to explore each other’s fantasies any way you can. Write your partner a letter, or simply envision what it is that you want as you’re having sex. Don’t be judgemental about this. There’s nothing wrong with spicing up your sex life with some variety. And by variety, it doesn’t mean different people. Try a different place in the house, a different time, on a different position. Discover your partner’s fantasy and be willing to play the game. Be specific about what you want and careful about how you phrase your desires. Your conversation shouldn’t start with “you don’t do this” or “you aren’t interested in that.” What you should say instead is “I want this” and “I’m interested in that.” If he’s quick from penetration to orgasm—which all men are, physiologically compared to women— you have to make sure there’s plenty of foreplay taking place before the actual penetration. And you have to be able to talk about it. Educate your husband so you understand each other’s needs.

Now the budget is here, what next

Finally the 2016 budget controversy is over with the signing of the Appropriation Bill into law by President Muhammadu Buhari last weekend after a four-month delay. With the budget in place, the fiscal policy and plans of the administration are now up and running along with the traditional complementary role it plays with monetary policy in economic stability and development. The prolonged lack of fiscal policy direction is accentuated by a harsh business climate in the country with a huge cost to the economy.

Only last week the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) reported that in the first quarter of 2016, the economy recorded a 73.39% year-on-year decline in capital imports to USD710.97 million, particularly as foreign direct investment decreased by 55.97% to USD173.73 million. There was also 82.30% year-on-year plunge in portfolio investment to USD201.69 million. Last week also, the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) published the Purchasing Managers’ Survey results for April 2016, which showed worsening contractions in both the manufacturing and non-manufacturing sectors. All these come against the backdrop of rising inflation which, had surpassed the CBN’s single-digit red line of 9.6% to peak at 12.8% in March 2016 with April readings forecast to be out next week at over 13%, the highest in several years.

The Naira value has seen its worse position in the first quarter of this year at the rate of N322/ USD1.0 in the open market segment. And the lead indicator – the gross domestic product – (GDP) which has seen one of the worst positions in recent years, is predicted to be worse than the low level 2.1% recorded in the fourth quarter of 2015. All these point to worsening standards of living for an average Nigerian who had expected so much from the new administration that assumed power a year ago. The key thrust of the budget is reflating the economy through bullish capital expenditure and investments. This is a needful bailout, and we applaud it. We believe that the huge financial injection into the economy and the vote for the most vulnerable will boost the purchasing power of the people.

On the macro-economic front, the government in conjunction with CBN, should plan to achieve an appropriate and predictable exchange rate regime by the end of 2016 without necessarily effecting a de-facto devaluation of the local currency. It is important that a harmony of fiscal and monetary policies should be in place to address and achieve low (single digit) interest rates for the real sector while containing inflation rate also at a single digit. Rapid implementation of the capital component of the budget could generate enough impulse to effectively lift aggregate demand in the medium term, thus raising the GDP.

Social media platforms: Marriage makers or breakers?

 

It all started with posts and accusations on Instagram and later snowballed to counter accusations, as well as an interview that went viral online.

The current challenge is not the first of its kind that Tiwa Savage and Tunji Balogun or any other celebrity couple would face. The difference, in this case, is Tiwa’s celebrity status and the nature of the conflict. It has made the issue an Internet sensation. And this is understandable as the news tops the list of items that people find online.

Nigerian Internet users are ruthless and they react to anything. There is no marriage that is immune to challenges. What the current generation of couples need to do is to ensure that they do not become casualties of social media marriages.

For those who think women are usually the first to run to social media, last week’s sad event proves that it could be the other way round. It is wrong to think that women are the only ones that go on social media to share a secret about their marriage or relationship.

 

There is a new research that says that out of every 100 divorce cases, 33 are partly caused by Facebook. Because of the social nature of several social media platforms, breaking ties with the past may be near impossible. In some instances, it is about the refusal to keep quiet and privately sort issues out. Nothing good is likely going to come out of a relationship where the man or woman goes online to cast aspersions on his or her partner, either directly or otherwise. Even where that is not the intention, the hurting party will read a different meaning to every status update and comment.

 

Apart from last week’s event, what the world has seen clearly of late is that social media platforms are gradually playing a role in increasing mistrust and disputes in many homes. Couples need to be careful and always do a quick self-assessment to see if the number of hours they spend on social media is not in competition with efforts to build strong offline relationships with their spouses. No one loves to be ignored, especially when it is coming from someone who is supposed to be one’s wife or husband.

 

 One of the golden rules is never to engage in conversation with your spouse on social media. Why not say it directly to him or her without bringing the online crowd along. If you would rather write about the issue, send an email.

 

 Several cases of hurts have arisen from social media. It is said that on social media, people simply act. If you choose to come online to engage with your partner, either by a demonstration of love or any other amorous affection, like many people are wont to do on birthdays and other special commemorations, it is important that you display similar affection offline. Otherwise, it will amount to mere acting for public amusement.

 

 I subscribe to the school of thought that says couples should be able to handle each other’s mobile phones or other Internet-connect devices. It is a way of being accountable to each other. I also reckon that it is an avenue for a partner to be kept in the known of what the other is doing online, especially since there is a tendency to forget about giving briefs on what happened during the day. However, there may be boundaries, which must not border on secrecy.

 

There is a couple that made a baby by sending messages to the printer and the child came out through the same means. It is a subtle way of explaining how couples are so consumed by their mobile phones at the expense of real-life communication. It is important to have rules about keeping mobile phones away. Relationships are built based on the number of hours spent with each other. Physical communication is vital.

 

When the hours are spent instead with someone else then a new relationship is being built at the expense of your marriage. Some individuals agree that the best way around this is to change their mobile lines. They reason that it helps to halt existing relationships with ex-partners and to check the chances of re-igniting a former relationship.

 

Marriage counsellors need to take note of the new trend. Also, it is important that they counsel the new generation on their online activities.

Clearly, marriage should not be left at the mercy of WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram and ‘like’ buttons.

 

However, it is clear that social media platforms are not the major problem. The challenge is how people use the platforms. They can either make or break relationships.

In all, the humane thing to do is to wish Tiwa and Tunji well in these trying times.

Financial slump: Sex workers cut charges, tempt men in Paradise City

THE economic recession has struck the sex market in Paradise City, Calabar, capital of Cross River State, forcing working girls to slash their charges to an all-time low of N400 per insertion and N1, 500 – N2, 000 per night for home service due to diminishing patronage. An operator of one of the hot red light zones in the city, Madam Becky (not real name), who spoke in Pidgin English, told Niger Delta Voice since February, the girls have been complaining of “bad market.”

“Why you dey ask me all this kind JAMB question sef, u sure say u no be police? Na because you buy me drinks, wetin I fit tell be say Buhari government no favour us at all, if na before, u no go see girl plenty like that for here, except say Ekelebe people dey disturb. We dey settle them well well, but since February, the business don bad well well,” she lamented. At some of the brothels and spots in Calabar South visited by this reporter, the story was the same. A street walker, Princess, who spoke to our reporter after much haggle, purchase of a bottle of beer and food for her, said: “I finished My WAEC before I joined this runs oo, my father died that same year and my mother is not too strong to take care of all of us.” “My father’s people accused our mother of our father’s death, so life has indeed being difficult. I actually came to Calabar in November 2015. I am from Orlu in Imo state but I started this business in Owerri before I moved to a joint in Obiagu in Enugu. Then for a change of environment, I decided to come to Calabar , last year, because I heard that there is usually a boom during the Calabar Carnival and I witnessed it, but things started changing around February,” she said. According to her: “We used to collect a minimum of N500 naira for a round of sex but it started going down after that Valentine celebration. My customers in a day before used to be between 20 –35 when business was good, but as I am talking to you, my highest in a day is no longer up to 18 or 20 when there is a boom.” “Upon say I be slim-fit, the only time we have business now is when they pay salaries, during festivities and public holidays,” she asserted.

At a spot on Lugard Street, one of the call girls accosted our reporter, saying, “No be N500 again oo, Buhari don make us bring down the price, port one and get one free “ she said. “If you want home service, just tell me na only 2k I go collect but you go buy be drink and suya ooo with Indomie, but if you want sharp sharp, na N500 I go collect for one round ooo, “ she added. According to her, “We just dey manage to survive, wetin man pikin go do, people no dey patronize us like before again, de only hope wey we get some time na some of our regular customers and during some weekends and holidays, but we nor get choice than to reduce wetin we dey charge before.” she asserted.